I'm not gay, am I?
by ZandiiLii
Summary: Morgan is confused. He has been having not-so innocent dreams about Hotch. Does the dreams mean he is gay, that he has romantic feelings for another man? How would Hotch react? Bad at summaries. Rated M for safety, some sexual content but nothing too graphic. SLASH (sort of) Morgan/Hotch. ONESHOT


_Don't own Criminal Minds._

_I needed a break from my ongoing story (Co-workers, best friends Lovers? Morgan/Reid slash). Decided to try writing about Morgan/Hotch. For now this is a one-shot. Pre-slash. Rated M for safety, some male-male sexual content, nothing too graphic._

* * *

**I'm not gay, am I?**

_"Good thing the bastard is dead, otherwise I'd kill him for doing this to Hotch"_ Morgan thought as he left the hospital where his injured boss had been admitted too. George Foyet had the day before killed Hotch's ex-wife and stabbed the man nine times. Never had Morgan felt this angry, not even when Hankel had abducted his best friend, tortured him and made him addicted to dilaudid.

He felt very surprised at the strong emotions he felt and the huge relief that had hit him when he found out Hotch would be okay. Of course he'd be relieved, Hotch was his friend, though these feelings were not something he had felt before when any part of his team had been hospitalized. Not even Reid. Morgan shrugged his head, Foyet had made them all very frustrated for a long time, what ever he felt probably had to do with the fact that hey finally could stop worrying about the bastard.

* * *

When Hotch returned to work Morgan felt relieved. The man seemed okay enough considering what he had been through. Even though he had lot his ex wife and his son had lost his mother it seemed like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Hotch even gave him a small smile, which was very unlike his boss. When Morgan saw the smile however, he felt warmth spread through his body. Shrugging his head slightly he walked back to his desk after greeting his boss, who was now heading towards his office.

That night was the first night Morgan had a dream about his superior. He dreamed about passionate kisses and hands exploring his naked chest. He dreamt about kissing his unit chief's pale neck and chest, tracing the many scars upon it with his tongue.

Morgan awoke with a jolt.

"What the fuck?" he all but yelled, causing his dog Clooney, who had been asleep at the foot of the bed, to look tiredly at his master. Morgan shrugged, trying to clear his head. After a few seconds he realized he had a raging hard-on.

_"I dream about Hotch, and I get hard? What the hell is this about? I'm not gay, am I? But WHY does the idea of Hotch's naked body turn me on?"_ Morgan thought, really confused. His erection was almost painful at this point. Reaching down he started to touch himself, his mind drifting to he memory of his dream about his boss. He couldn't stop it.

"Nnngh Hotch!" Morgan groaned as he reached his release. After a short trip to the bathroom to clean himself up he went back to sleep, thankful that his boss wasn't in any more of his dreams that night.

The next day Morgan felt embarrassed. It was very difficult to even so much look at Hotch. That day Morgan found out why Hotch had been making him do work he never had done before on their last case. He was to temporarily replace Hotch as unit chief.

* * *

During his first case as official unit chief the team had to share rooms at the hotel since there only were three rooms available. They paired up the same way they usually did, JJ and Prentiss, Hotch and Rossi and Morgan and Reid. Morgan didn't really mind sharing a room with Reid, but a part of him secretly wanted to share with Hotch. He had now realized that he had a crush on the older agent. Even though he felt shameful about it he couldn't help wanting to be near the other man.

"Goodnight kid" Morgan said to Reid as the younger man turned of the lights.

"Night Morgan" Reid replied.

Morgan quickly fell asleep. Instantly a very familiar dream was playing in his mind. The naked bodies of himself and Hotch, kissing, touching, biting, moaning. Hotch was writhing beneath him from his touches. Morgan was moaning as Hotch's wet mouth covered his sensible nipples.

"Morgan…" he heard Hotch's voice claim. _"This is different, Hotch doesn't usually say my name" _Morgan thought, not realizing he was half awake.

"Morgan!" a voice said, louder this time.

Morgan now realized that the voice didn't belong to Hotch, it was the voice of Spencer Reid.

"Morgan are you all right?"

"Huh? Yeah man, I'm fine, why do you ask?" Morgan answered the younger man, almost praying he hadn't talked in his sleep.

"Well you were... uhm… moaning and you, er, said…" Reid began uncomfortably.

"I was? What did I say?" Morgan asked feeling incredibly embarrassed, really thankful for his dark skin at this time, otherwise he would be blushing.

"You… well you were sort of saying, well moaning really… ehm… Hotch" Reid stuttered.

_"Fuck! Why did I have to have this dream with someone else in the room?!" _Morgan thought. "Shit" was the only thing he managed to say.

"Morgan… What's going on? Are you… Does Hotch…?" Reid said, not able to form a complete sentence. "Please talk to me Morgan, you can trust me."

Morgan stared at his friend for a while. Confusion and maybe a slight chock were shown on the young doctor's face, but no disgust or judgment could be seen.

"I… fuck! I think I have a crush on Hotch!" Morgan sighed

"You mean to say that you're… you know… Gay?" Reid asked, crooking his head.

Morgan sighed again. "I don't know man. I mean I have never had any kind of romantic feelings towards another man before. I really don't know where this came from, but somehow Hotch is stuck in my head. I feel happy when I'm around him. At the same time I'm miserable in his presence, knowing it's not like… well, my dreams. "

When Morgan stopped talking Reid simply watched his best friend for a while. After a while the genius blushed when he realized what Morgan had dreamt.

"Ehm… Well, maybe you should try talking to him?" Reid suggested.

The younger man's blush and stammering suggestion made Morgan chuckle.

"Reid, what good could that possibly do? The man used to be married to a woman, he's straight for god's sake!"

"If anyone who knows you would be asked about your sexuality they would receive the answer that you're straight aswell, and here you are admitting you have feelings for another man." Reid replied wisely. "Besides, Hotch might not be as straight as you think" he continued with a mumble.

"Well yeah but… Wait what!? Hotch's not… What does that mean Reid, 'not as straight as I think'?"

"Crap. I was hoping you didn't hear that" Reid sighed. "I sort of overheard Hotch talking on the phone after he and Haley got divorced. He was talking about how he had always wanted to… well, experiment with you know… another male. He said that the divorce was good and that he knows would be able to… you know, try it."

Shock did not even begin to explain what Morgan was feeling. _"Hotch might be into guys? Bisexual?"_ he thought. Maybe there's some hope after all. Morgan simply sat there, staring in disbelief at Reid for a while. His transfixed gaze broke when the younger man yawned.

"Reid… Thank you for telling me this" Morgan smiled at the younger man. "We should get back to sleep."

* * *

During the rest of the case Morgan carefully watched Hotch. At least he thought he was careful. When they were to board the jet to head home however, Rossi approached him.

"Hey Morgan. I don't know exactly what you're thinking, but your stares are not as subtle as you might think" Rossi said.

"What? Rossi I…"

"Don't even try Morgan. I am a profiler after all. So is Hotch, I suggest you speak to him before your not-so-subtle stares become obvious to him" Rossi said, placing a gentle hand on Morgan's shoulder as he walked past him onto the jet.

When they arrived back to Quantico Morgan received a great surprise from Garcia, she had managed to get him his own office! The pleasurable surprise of the office quickly lessened when he realized the huge amount of paperwork he had to do. _"Damn, hopefully Hotch can return as unit chief soon, this is gonna suck!" _Morgan thought as he began working.

After what felt like an eternity he heard a knock on his door.

"Come in!"

"Hey Morgan, I figured you'd still be here. Garcia did a nice job on your office."

"Hotch!"

"How's it going?" Hotch asked, nodding his head towards the stack of paperwork.

"Man, I don't know how you do this!" Morgan sighed, not quite able to keep eye contact with the older man.

"Sometimes I don't either. Just don't over-do it. And ask for help if you need it. Anyway, I was about to head out, but I though I'd stop by to see if you were too. I was sort of thinking about grabbing a beer or something, going home to an empty house is not that tempting."

"I could go for a beer, if you want company? Oh, wait, what about Jack?"

"Jack is with his aunt for the night. And I'd love some company" Hotch answered, giving Morgan a small smile.

"Alright, then let's head out!"

"Let me grab my coat. Oh and do you have your car here? I lent mine to Jessica, her car broke down."

"Yeah man, I drove here."

When they arrived at the bar the team usually visited when they wanted to go out the only unoccupied table was a booth in the corner. The two men sat down. Morgan didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth a few times to try say something, but failed every time.

"So… Rossi talked to me…" Hotch began, his voice trembling a bit.

"Oh? About anything interesting?" Morgan asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Quite interesting, yes" Hotch answered, meeting Morgan's eyes. "He talked to me about you" the older man continued, his voice barely more then a whisper.

Morgan felt his heart skip a beat. There was something in Hotch's eyes, something he hadn't seen before.

"And? What did he tell you?"

"He said that he had noticed you, well, watching me. Is it true?"

Morgan didn't know what to say. What if he said something he shouldn't, that would mess up the team. But, this was his chance, his chance to let Hotch know he had feelings for him. _'He might not be as straight as you think'_ Reid's words rang in his ears.

"It's true" Morgan finally mumbled, looking down at the table.

"Why?" Hotch demanded.

"What do you want me to say man? I like you! I have been watching you lately because I have feelings for you!" Morgan blurted out before he could stop himself.

His words were followed by silence. Suddenly he felt Hotch's hand on his arm, causing his head to jolt up, as his eyes once again met Hotch's. The older man's face was as unreadable as ever.

"You have feelings for me? How? When? I thought you were straight?"

"I don't know, man" Morgan answered weakly. "Lately I've been feeling… something more for you… Fuck man, I just feel so confused. Please Hotch, just… I don't know, try to forget about this, I don't wan to ruin…"

"Morgan… Derek. You have not ruined anything. Look, the reason Rossi told me anything at all is because he knows I…" Hotch began, pausing to clear his throat. "Rossi knows I have feelings for you Derek."

Morgan couldn't believe what he just had heard. Hotch had feelings for him? Part of Morgan thought this was some kind of sick joke. _"Hold on, he called me Derek? He never does that! Maybe…" _Morgan's thoughts were interrupted when he felt a hand caressing his cheek. Morgan hadn't realized his eyes where fixed at the table again.

As he looked up Hotch's expression had changed. Gone where the usual, un-readable expression. Replacing it where a softer expression, almost loving. When Morgan realized Hotch face was closing in on his own he held his breath. _"Is he going to…?" _Once again Morgan's thoughts were interrupted.

Hotch's lips were placed on his own. Gently the older man kissed the younger. When Morgan realized what had happened Hotch had already pulled away.

"De… Morgan. I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have…" the older man began apologizing.

Morgan shrugged, placed his hand on the back of Hotch's neck and pulled him closer again, this time initiating a kiss. The other man kissed him back without hesitation. The feeling of Hotch's lips against his own were incredible, he never wanted this moment to end.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed this little story! For now it's a one-shot, but if there's any interest at all I'd consider writing a sequel. _

_Love it/hate it? Let me know! Review Review Review! J_


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